Guys are people too

Depending on the amount of days we will be at a school, we give students the opportunity to ask anonymous questions which we will answer in class. 

Sometimes we get cool drawings...like this...

Occasionally we get more random pictures which make us smile

More often, though, students reveal deep concerns and worries. Today I thought I'd share with you a recent question and its source might surprise you. I have purposely omitted the student's name but here's the surprise.

It's from a guy. 

WHAT? I thought guys didn't have any feelings? I thought guys were all just pervs!

Read this and then tell me what you think...

Guys are people too! Having sex is a big deal. Doing sexual things with a person is intense. 

Here are five things to consider:

1. Guys can get pressured too. In the heat of a moment, a guy's body can certainly be saying "GO FOR IT!!!" and a guy's heart can be thinking that having sex is an ok thing. Isn't it interesting? A lot of girls think that guys don't care and that all they want is ONE thing. 

2. Have friendships with people of the opposite sex and don't worry about having a bf/gf. This allows guys and girls to get to know each other without all the pressure of having a "relationship."

3. Spend time with girls and guys together in a public setting. Do fun things together but avoid situations where you would be alone and find yourself tempted again. 

4. Have accountability with a parent, pastor, or other trusted adult. Allow them permission to ask you how you are doing with these things. Believe it or not, this can give you a measure of safety and confidence. 

5. Think carefully about the kind of people you are attracting. If they are the kind of people who will pressure you into doing things you don't want to do, are they really worth your time? 

Any other ideas or opinions are appreciated! We'd love to hear from you! 

LaFonduh...

If you haven’t met her yet, I’d like to introduce you to LaFonduh.

 

LaFonduh is a lovely girl and she desperately wants to fall in love. She is the:

 

The Popular Cheerleader

The Unseen Poet

The Quiet Genius and

The Rocker Chick

 

She is short.

She is tall.

She is gorgeous

and she is plain.

Sadly, she is often

Every Girl.

 

LaFonduh quickly falls in love 

with guys at different schools. It doesn’t take long for LF to attach herself to a guy.

The more sexual stuff she does with a guy, the tighter the grip and the harder LF falls. Kissing, making out, whatever, LF is sure she is ready, certain that this guy is THE one and so she gives a little bit more of herself until she’s given everything away.

 

When that relationship doesn’t last, LF quickly surveys her school for the available guys. She’s on the prowl again, looking for a new boy to love and so the pattern repeats itself.

 

If you haven’t noticed, LaFonduh is a piece of tape; a piece of transparent packing tape but honestly she symbolizes what we see all the time as we go out and speak in schools about sex and stuff.

 

Although LaFonduh is tape, she really exists, if you know what I mean.

 

And when LF gets dumped, parts of her and that guy are left behind. She’s got some of him on her; he’s got some of her on him. There are tiny pieces of each other still left.

 

You should see how eager the guys are to get rid of clingy LaFonduh. She has turned

jealous and obsessive. She drives the poor guy crazy! Her whole world revolves around him and he feels like he can’t even breathe!

 

Recently when we were speaking in a school, one of the teenage guys ripped LF off his arm so fast you could hear the hairs being torn off. He was really hairy and look at what he left on LF. Ew!

 

And as gross as it is seeing all that hair, honestly, for some students, the residue left behind is far more intense and physical…pregnancy, sexual transmitted diseases and infections. 

Hooking up with someone is not as carefree as some would like you to believe. 

 

Sex, making out, really everything in between is a big deal. Kissing, touching, messing around, even doing sexual things with another person it's kind of like tape. It connects people and when a relationship is over, the stuff left behind is emotional…heartbreak, embarrassment,

and regret. 

In our next post, I’ll share with you a story, edited for privacy reasons, of what recently happened to a girl who has felt like LaFonduh in real life.

 

You are worth waiting for. Sex is a big deal.  Tell us what you think. Do you have a story and want to share? Write us and leave a comment.

 

 

A Beautiful Story

Jason and Megan had been dating for two months when she got a nasty cold. Although they had been friends for two years before dating, she had never let him see her at anything less than the pinnacle of cuteness.  Jason called sick Meg and asked if there was anything he could do. 

Instead of trying to act like everything was ok and she was a strong, independent woman, she let him see the real Megan and in this case it meant showing him the pitiful wimp she becomes when she's sick. 

Meg asked Jason to bring her some orange juice. Jason drove 20 minutes across town to bring his new gf some juice. 

Meg opened the door post-nap. In flannel pajamas, her pony tailed hair askew from sleeping. She greeted him with bad breath and a hoarse voice that sounded more like a middle school boy going through puberty. Ew! Megan drank the juice, thanked Jason for it and while sitting on the couch, she ended up falling back asleep with him there.

So what did Jason do? Did he get angry and furious that he had driven across town only to have his woman fall asleep? Did he try something funny because after all he had done something nice for her? Did he gag in disgust when she'd momentarily wake up only to cough or blow her snotty nose?

No! Jason sat there on the couch with Megan, hanging out with her roommates he didn't know really well and stroked her hair as she slept. Now that's a quality man!

In past relationships, Megan tried to be the "sunny, happy" girl all the time. She never told boyfriends when she was sad/angry/self-conscious because she thought she had to be happy around guys all the time since she'd be more likable that way. 

With Jason, it was different. He made her happier than any person she had ever been with before. She also knew that if he did something to make her mad, she could tell him and know he wouldn't think less of her. It was a freeing realization and one that opened the door for her to show him the "real" Megan. "What a beautiful thing to know I'm loved for who I am, not the person I put on!" Megan recently shared. 

Megan and Jason got married in June. They had a romantic honeymoon in Belize. They are loving and here are some lessons she learned along the way.

1.  If you've ever been treated like gum in the past, break the cycle and wait for one who will cherish you for the beautiful person you are!

2.  Wait for the one who will drive across town to bring you orange juice when you're sick and not gag in disgust when you continuously cough/blog your snotty nose. 

3.  Find the one who never starts a sentence with, "if you lost a few pounds..." but instead says, "you're beautiful."

4.  Wait for the one who will go to plays and museums with you even if it's not something they like because it means a lot to you.

5.  Don't give up hope, there are good guys (and girls) out there. They're worth waiting for and so are you!

Got a story to share? Email me at cindy@lifecarenc.org, I want to hear it!