Guys are people too

Depending on the amount of days we will be at a school, we give students the opportunity to ask anonymous questions which we will answer in class. 

Sometimes we get cool drawings...like this...

Occasionally we get more random pictures which make us smile

More often, though, students reveal deep concerns and worries. Today I thought I'd share with you a recent question and its source might surprise you. I have purposely omitted the student's name but here's the surprise.

It's from a guy. 

WHAT? I thought guys didn't have any feelings? I thought guys were all just pervs!

Read this and then tell me what you think...

Guys are people too! Having sex is a big deal. Doing sexual things with a person is intense. 

Here are five things to consider:

1. Guys can get pressured too. In the heat of a moment, a guy's body can certainly be saying "GO FOR IT!!!" and a guy's heart can be thinking that having sex is an ok thing. Isn't it interesting? A lot of girls think that guys don't care and that all they want is ONE thing. 

2. Have friendships with people of the opposite sex and don't worry about having a bf/gf. This allows guys and girls to get to know each other without all the pressure of having a "relationship."

3. Spend time with girls and guys together in a public setting. Do fun things together but avoid situations where you would be alone and find yourself tempted again. 

4. Have accountability with a parent, pastor, or other trusted adult. Allow them permission to ask you how you are doing with these things. Believe it or not, this can give you a measure of safety and confidence. 

5. Think carefully about the kind of people you are attracting. If they are the kind of people who will pressure you into doing things you don't want to do, are they really worth your time? 

Any other ideas or opinions are appreciated! We'd love to hear from you! 

How Life Changed...

I’ll be honest. This is probably the most embarrassing part of my story. Putting it all together and seeing the effects… it just makes me sad. Why did I do all of these things? All for some guy that I thought was cute?

Somehow my life completely went upside down and I became this strange, miserable version of myself.

This first graph is a visual of how my life was before I started dating that guy in high school.


The numbers on the left are just for the graph. They don’t really mean anything but they help complete the graph…

Oh, and btw, this is my first attempt at making graphs in Excel! I did pretty well, right? 

Well, if you have seen some of my pictures you will know I wasn’t the hottest thing around. But I had some friends and I was happy with it.

Popularity: My popularity was alright. Not scum of the earth, I guess I was somewhere in the middle.

Parties: The parties I went to were mostly chick flicks and watching popcorn with my girls. I lied a little about my grades. I was not a good student but I don’t recommend lying about anything because they always find out!!
My family life was alright. Had some issues and still do but all in all, it was alright.

This next graph is of my life with that guy and a little bit after we dated.


What do you notice?
A lot different, right?
My popularity went up because if you remember he was a cute, popular football player. I started hanging out with all the athletes and cheerleaders. But I became known for doing all those other things. I got called the icky names like a “garden utensil” among others.
The parties I was going to now were no longer chick flicks. They were parties where people drank alcohol and had sex. So this is why the drinking section of my life went up.
I was lying to my parents about everything. I did not want them to know where I was, who I was with, what I was doing…
So my family life went down. I hung out with my boyfriend all the time and never wanted to be around my family for fear they would find out the truth.

There are two things this graph does not tell you.
I never got pregnant.
I never got a disease.

But like I said earlier, I became a strange miserable version of myself. I was not happy! I was probably the furthest from happy I have ever been. I thought this guy would make me feel good about myself but in reality, I felt worse. After we broke up it hit harder. I felt disgusting and unworthy of anything good.
My stupid habits stayed the same for a little longer.

But then something happened…