I thought it was a great question, wonderfully inquisitive. As I have pondered the answers, I believe love comes after:
TIME - Often teenagers run into the physical part of a relationship overlooking the aspect of time. I'm not talking about spending every waking moment together but time allows a couple to see if they are compatible. I remember having a boyfriend in high school who had the strangest laugh. His laugh was a combination of a witches' cackle and a girly giggle. It sent a shiver up my spine! It didn't take too long for me to realize I wasn't going to be able to ever crack a joke around him ever again. We weren't going to last forever. Needless to say, we broke up shortly thereafter. Even though he was super cute, it wasn't going to work.
TRUST - Starting out as friends allows you to get to know each other without the pressure of romance and a relationship. By spending time together, couples begin to share things. They might tell the person things in confidence and learn whether this person is trustworthy or not. I meet many girls who have trusted boys prematurely and been badly hurt. By spending time together, you can judge if this person is worthy of your most treasured thoughts, feelings and dreams. Trust is something a person earns, don't give it away or settle for anything less than the best.
SIMILAR BELIEFS AND INTERESTS - You don't need to have everything in common but it helps if you share mutually healthy habits and interests. Love can blossom when you find that the person likes the same things you do. My sister married a great guy who loves Florida State football as much as he does! He and I wouldn't have even made it through the first date because I'm not a big sports fan. They have a match made in heaven because this is one of many things they have in common.
ATTRACTION - "He's a great kisser and now I'm in love!" NOT! Those butterfly feelings are important but don't believe this is the only thing that's important. A guy's gotta have more than a pretty face and a killer bod. A girl should have a lot more to offer a guy than an hourglass figure.
MUTUAL RESPECT - If you find that your bf/gf is saying or doing things which degrade or disrespect you, than it's not a healthy kind of love. If you find that the person you like has unhealthy or illegal habits, that it's not a good kind of love either. If you think you can change the person and make him/her better, you are going to be disappointed.
What do you think? Did I leave anything out? I'd love to hear your thoughts and questions, too!
