A Beautiful Story

Jason and Megan had been dating for two months when she got a nasty cold. Although they had been friends for two years before dating, she had never let him see her at anything less than the pinnacle of cuteness.  Jason called sick Meg and asked if there was anything he could do. 

Instead of trying to act like everything was ok and she was a strong, independent woman, she let him see the real Megan and in this case it meant showing him the pitiful wimp she becomes when she's sick. 

Meg asked Jason to bring her some orange juice. Jason drove 20 minutes across town to bring his new gf some juice. 

Meg opened the door post-nap. In flannel pajamas, her pony tailed hair askew from sleeping. She greeted him with bad breath and a hoarse voice that sounded more like a middle school boy going through puberty. Ew! Megan drank the juice, thanked Jason for it and while sitting on the couch, she ended up falling back asleep with him there.

So what did Jason do? Did he get angry and furious that he had driven across town only to have his woman fall asleep? Did he try something funny because after all he had done something nice for her? Did he gag in disgust when she'd momentarily wake up only to cough or blow her snotty nose?

No! Jason sat there on the couch with Megan, hanging out with her roommates he didn't know really well and stroked her hair as she slept. Now that's a quality man!

In past relationships, Megan tried to be the "sunny, happy" girl all the time. She never told boyfriends when she was sad/angry/self-conscious because she thought she had to be happy around guys all the time since she'd be more likable that way. 

With Jason, it was different. He made her happier than any person she had ever been with before. She also knew that if he did something to make her mad, she could tell him and know he wouldn't think less of her. It was a freeing realization and one that opened the door for her to show him the "real" Megan. "What a beautiful thing to know I'm loved for who I am, not the person I put on!" Megan recently shared. 

Megan and Jason got married in June. They had a romantic honeymoon in Belize. They are loving and here are some lessons she learned along the way.

1.  If you've ever been treated like gum in the past, break the cycle and wait for one who will cherish you for the beautiful person you are!

2.  Wait for the one who will drive across town to bring you orange juice when you're sick and not gag in disgust when you continuously cough/blog your snotty nose. 

3.  Find the one who never starts a sentence with, "if you lost a few pounds..." but instead says, "you're beautiful."

4.  Wait for the one who will go to plays and museums with you even if it's not something they like because it means a lot to you.

5.  Don't give up hope, there are good guys (and girls) out there. They're worth waiting for and so are you!

Got a story to share? Email me at cindy@lifecarenc.org, I want to hear it! 

Facebook Group

Our goal is to get 500 folks to join our facebook group Girls Aren't Gum.

Let everyone know you are down with respect and stuff!

B.A.'s working on making some flair for your flair wall and you know how important good flair is these days!

Come on ride da train! All aboard!

Purity Rings, Got a Problem???

The MTV Video Music Awards were on last night. Millions tuned in and saw the outrageous outfits, scandalous necklines, insane hairstyles and interesting moments. Millions also surely heard the lame comments made by the host, too. 

Today I heard about how Jordin Sparks  laid the smack down on VMA host Russell Brand following a stupid comment he said about the Jonas Brothers who each wear a purity ring on their left hand. 

I guess Brand finds these guys stupid. He thinks waiting to have sex until marriage is something to be mocked. I have chosen not to run the video clip of Brand's comments but trust me, what the bloke shared was offensive and not even remotely funny. 

Yeah, three pretty cute rock star guys who just happen to want to wait to have sex until marriage sounds completely stupid, huh? 

Perhaps Brand had a second of regret because when he came back on stage, he tried to say he didn't mean to be a jerk and the whole virginity things was "well done everyone" but added insult to injury with this quip. "It's just, a bit of sex occasionally never hurt anybody."

Really?

Hmmm, tell that to the high school girl who spoke to me after class and told me she had herpes. Tell that to the guy who cries himself to sleep at night because his girlfriend cheated on him. Explain that to a teenage girl who is overwhelmed by the news that her pregnancy test came back positive. I have met all three and many others with heartbreaking consequences. 

Apparently he hasn't met middle school girls who have terrible reputations because of their regretful decisions. Brand must have never sweated it out awaiting results on an HIV test either. And it would appear that this 33 year old guy does not know anyone who grieves the loss of a child they never got to meet due to an abortion. 

Russell Brand shows his real ignorance to the intensity of sexual relationships. His pathetic comments clearly demonstrate that he certainly thinks "Girls ARE Gum." Use them up, spit them out, it never hurt anybody, right? 

Considering Russell Brand himself has been in treatment for drug addiction AND sex addiction, I should think he'd have learned something by now.

What an idiot. 

It's really sad when the world insults people who make righteous choices. We should be applauding guys who treat themselves and others with respect. Folks, I've gotta tell you, that's something that deserves an award but you'll never see that on MTV. 

Sex and Chocolate?

Since starting this blog, I am even more watchful of the messages that celebrities decide to share. So it comes as no surprise that another Hollywood star has proclaimed more stupid stuff for the world to hear.

Teri Hatcher, actress in the hit series Desperate Housewives, was interviewed for the October issue of Glamour UK and has a few things she wants her daughter and the world to know. 

I like a few of her suggestions.

Eat chocolate (brilliant!)

Floss your teeth (cha)

The sun will rise tomorrow (slightly cheesy and kind of reminds me of the movie Annie but ok...)

Don't sit on public potty seats (ew!)

But there was one piece of "wisdom" Ms. Hatcher gave which I question. This Desperate Housewives star apparently tells her daughter, "have great sex."

Oh boy, I can only imagine the hugs and joy that Emerson, her 10 year old girl, had when her mama gave her that little nugget of knowledge! I mean, we all know 10 year old girls LOVE to have awkward conversations with their parents about VERY intimate things, huh? What child do you know that wouldn't want to hear, "have great sex" over "I love you" and other cornball words like that? 

Another thing Ms. Hatcher recomends is not sitting on public toilet seats. This is interesting to me. I bet the reason Teri Hatcher advises her daughter not to sit on public potty seats is not only can they be very gross but also because you can catch a disease like hepatitis from a toilet seat and not even know it was there. Hmmm...according to the Centers for Disease Control, one of our every four sexually active teenage girls contracts a sexually transmitted disease. Most STD/STIs don't even have symptoms and many can't be seen. Do you see a similarity there? 

So let me see, Ms. Hatcher tells her 10 year old daughter to have great sex but has she given her any boundaries? What do you think are the chances that this single Hollywood mom has bothered to tell her little girl that the best place to have great sex is in marriage? I'd wager a big bar of Ghirardelli chocolate that she has conveniently overlooked that part of the sentence. 

There are some missing parts of that conversation, Ms. Hatcher. Sure, sex is a good thing but in case you haven't noticed, it can also be really complicated. Sex is intense and wonderful and also very serious. There are consequences and risks that extend far beyond pregnancy and diseases. 

I'm sure Ms. Hatcher is a loving mom but if she wants to impart helpful advice to her daughter or anyone else for that matter, she needs to floss her brain before speaking and tell her the rest of the story.

Celebrities and Their Virginity

I have a question for you and I want you to be totally honest. Do you really care when a celebrity loses her or his virginity?

I don't but maybe that's just me.

Apparently I'm in the minority though because in this month's issue of the magazine Details, Daniel Radcliffe aka "Harry Potter," is sharing intimate details about his first sexual experience.

I wonder what the magazine would have done if when interviewed, Radcliffe said in his charming British accent. "I'm waiting to have sex until marriage. I'm not cashing in my V-Card until my wedding night."

Talk about scandalous! Wouldn't that be out of this world INSANE?? 

Why is it that we need to read about all the sordid details of a 19 year old guy's first sexual encounter three years ago? Why does the world just expect a teenage celebrity to have already gotten his freak on? I'm ticked!

You'll never hear the things that we encounter all the time from 16 year girls and guys who have had sex. Those stories won't make a magazine, they are from just everyday teenagers who have learned the hard way that sex is complicated. Sometimes they tell us they had sex with a person their own age, other times it's with someone "much older," as this actor has apparently experienced. Why do we applaud this behavior and not teach guys to hold onto a higher standard? 

This blog is devoted to encouraging readers to consider themselves worthy of honor. Girls and guys. Women and men. 

I wonder if Mr. Radcliffe worried about any consequences. Pregnancy? Regrets? Sexual transmitted diseases and infections? Feelings of emptiness and depression? Friends, you won't hear those things, that stuff is "private," I suppose.

Talk to me, what do you think? 

 

First post

Hey friends!

We are really excited to get this party started! Woo hoo! However you found us, welcome! Thanks for stopping by!

What our blog is:

A place to encourage

A place to share

A place to offer insights and perspective

What our blog isn't:

A place to bash guys

A place to be gross or disgusting

A place to put down others

After speaking to thousands of students throughout the county and state about love, sex and relationships, we wanted to keep the conversation going. We see so many hurting students, so many young people needing some support, we thought this was a way to reach out.

In the upcoming posts, we hope to give you all motivation about making healthy decisions. My buddy and fellow blogger B.A. will share her story her love story complete with the not-so great parts. I will post about some of our experiences out there speaking to young people and of course, your own stories are welcome.

We look forward to getting the word out there and hearing from you!